Thursday, March 23, 2006

Audition Bookings

We are no longer booking audition placed ahead of time.
There are still many places available.
If you want to audition and haven't been given a time yet please feel free to arrive whenever you would like during the Audition times and we will try to fit you in.
Prebooked audition times do take priority. It will then be on a first come first to audition basis.
Later in the evening/ afternoon is better.
For audition times and locations please see below

If there are any questions feel free to contact us.

Thank you

Monday, March 20, 2006

Audition Locations

When requesting an audition you will be given the date time and room you should attend.

Walk-in auditions will only be granted if there are openings in the schedule

All rooms are in the McMaster University Student Centre
Monday March 20th, 5:30-10:30pm in room 214
Tuesday March 21st, 3-6:30pm in room 301, 7-10:30pm in room 302
Wednesday March 22nd, 5:30-7pm in room 213, 8-10:30pm in room 207
Thursday March 23rd, 3:00-10:30pm in room 301
Saturday March 25th, 2-6pm in room 220.

-to insure that you have a time booked follow instruction below
-walk-in auditions will be granted if time allows
-audition pieces do not need to be memorized

Monday, March 13, 2006

Auditions process

Auditions will be held March 20th to March 25th in the following schedule

Trainspotting: March 20th and 22nd @ 5:30-10:30pm
The Two Gentlemen of Verona: March 22nd, 23rd @ 5:30-10:30pm and March 25th @ 2-6pm
Body and Soul: March 20th @ 5:30-10:30pm and March 25th @ 2-6pm
Criminals in Love: March 21st, 23rd @ 5:30-10:30pm and March 25th @ 2-6pm
Making Light of Darkness: March 21st and 23rd @ 3-10:30pm

to pre-book audition times email mcmaster_sdf@yahoo.ca
and include the following information
(subject line= "Audition please")
Name:
email address:
Phone #:
Student or non student status:
theatre experience: (no experience is needed)
Summer schedule : (as much as you know now- or a general idea)
Plays you would like to audition for:
Available audition times:
Additional comments:
would you be interested in being part of the administrative or technical team is not cast? :

Audition times will be assigned and emailed starting March 16th.

Please scroll down to see the audition pieces for each play

Criminals in Love -- Audition pieces --Update Monday March 20th

1.
Junior: Will you marry me.
Gail: You just had a vision didn’t you. The two of us married and always together. Twenty-five or thirty years with your head under my sweater.
Junior: I dream about you. You’re my salvation.
Gail: I hate it when you say that. I don’t think you even know what it means.
Junior: You save me.
Gail: From what.
Junior: My true destiny.
Gail: Which is.
Junior: Fuck all
Gail: Pathetic. I hate it when you talk like this.
Junior: Fuck all is what I came from. Fuck all is where I’m going without you.
Gail: Just knock it off okay.
Junior: Why do you like me.
Gail: What.
Junior: I just want to know why you like me.
Gail: I love you, honey.
Junior: Because I love you probably.
Gail: Probably, yeah. You give me your full attention. The first time we kissed even. You threw your arms around me. Closed your eyes and just held on. It wasn’t the world’s greatest kiss, but I said to myself here’s a guy who can concentrate on what he’s doing.
Junior: Will you marry me.
Gail: When I get a job.
Junior: I’ve got a job.
Gail: I know you’ve got a job. I didn’t forget. The answer toy our question was when I get a job.
Junior: Why.
Gail: You know why. Why.
Junior: So you won’t have to be afraid I’ll fuck up
Gail: No, Jesus. Pathetic. Not that you won’t fuck up. Just so I’ll know there’s something I can do to control things. Keep things moving. Whatever happened.
Junior: Well whatever happens just has to be me fucking up. I’ve been thinking about it and there just isn’t anything else that can go wrong.
Gail: There are things in this world that are beyond your control. Your plant could close. You could be laid off. You should have voted to unionize that place you know.
Junior: You should go to university Gail. You’re smart enough to be anything.

2.
Henry: Do I know you…There’s something familiar about you.
William: I am a psychiatrist.
Henry: Oh. Well that’s good. I’m glad you’re here. Because they want to put me away for keeps. But I can be saved. I want to turn myself around. Society never gave me nothing but dirt. But I don’t want to hold a grudge no more. I want you to reach right inside my head, reach right inside and turn it around. I’m willing. I’m ready. I’m able.
William: Bullshit
Henry: No. Honest.
William: Bullshit
Henry: Ah, come on. Really. Honest. Give me a break. Don’t be cruel. Try me out.
William: You are a big stupid spit-spewing asshole. One of the world’s truly pathetic empty spaces. An enormous nothingness on legs. A total waste of time. Vomit. If I had a gun I’d shoot you.
Henry: I want another doctor.
William: Shut up. I warn you. If you make me angry I’ll kill you with my bare hands.
Henry: You’re a lousy psychiatrist. I’ve seen a few of them. And you are the worst.
William: It’s a lie, stupid. I told it so they would let me see you. Now shut up and listen. Your son was nearly killed two nights ago.
Henry: How do you know my son
William: Shut up. To be coerced into crime is one thing, to be coerced by incompetent fools is another. I could live a criminal life. I’ve seen the abyss. I’ve felt the pull. Even philosophically, I could come to terms with certain actions. Perhaps against large corrupt institutions. This is hypothetical. I don’t expect you to understand what I’m saying.
Henry: Thanks.
William: But to attempt to steal food from the Salvation Army headquarters is beneath contempt. Unjustifiable.
Henry: So Ritchie finally knocked over the Sally Ann. He’s been planning that job for two years.
William: Then he is, and this I find almost impossible to believe, more stupid than you are.
Henry [smiles]: Really. You think so.
William: Oh yes. Because in those two years he wasn’t even able to discover that the warehouse is guarded by two armed security men.
Henry: So Ritchie screwed up bad.
William: And your son was wounded.
Henry: That’s rough. I’m sorry. Tell him I’m sorry if you see him, will you. So Ritchie screwed up. So. So who’s the dumb fuck, eh. Tell me who the first place dumb fuck is in this family.
William: It’s a crowded field. Look for a photo finish.
Henry: What. Yeah. So you know my kid. Hey. Wait a minute. Now I know what’s familiar about you. It’s your clothes. They’re mine. You’re wearing my clothes. Where’d you get my clothes.
William: In your closet.
Henry: Hey, wait a minute. You were in my closet? You know my kid and you’re in my closet. What is this. Are you taking over my life. This is weird. That’s my life. Get your own.
William: You have no life. You have no son. Now shut up because you are starting to make me angry. I want you to get word to your brother. From now on we do things our way.

3.
Wineva: He’s the boss? (She starts to laugh. It’s a moderately high pitched laugh. She throws her head back. It gets deeper. She doubles up. And the voice plummets into a deep roaring sound. The rest of them back away a bit. She straightens suddenly) He’s the boss when I need it that way. To push out front. To make introductions sometimes. Sometimes I let him plan something. The Salvation Army job was his. It had his stamp on it for sure. Pure fucking stupidity. He drools. He walks into walls. He reads five words an hour. I use him mostly when I want someone mauled. You annoy me anymore and you’ll meet him all right. I’ll have him come over here and set your clothes o fire. He likes shit like that. Maybe he’ll just molest you all. You keep annoying me and you’ll find out! Now, old-timer, you said you’ve got plans.

The Two Gentlemen of Verona --Audition pieces

Plot Synopsis:
Valentine and Proteus, two young men of Verona, are the best of friends, inseparable until Valentine decides to leave for the court of the Duke of Milan. Once there, he falls passionately in love with Silvia, daughter of the Duke, who loves him in return. Proteus, meanwhile, is ordered to Milan by his father, and reluctantly bids his beloved Julia farewell before setting out. Once in Milan, however, Proteus becomes enamored with Silvia, and schemes to have her for himself… even though it requires him to betray his best friend. As he sets out to woo Silvia, Julia arrives in Milan, disguised as a boy, and is shocked to discover Proteus in love with another woman. The action culminates in a confrontation between Valentine and his deceitful friend, but in the end, forgiveness and true love emerge triumphant.

Characters:
Valentine
- A young man of Verona, he chides his friend Proteus for loving Julia, until he himself falls in love with Silvia. Although not the brightest of men, he is nevertheless a steadfastly honest friend to Proteus and a devoted lover to Silvia.

Proteus - Best friend to Valentine, he is committed to loving Julia, until he lays eyes on Silvia, Valentine’s girlfriend. Desiring to possess Silvia at any cost, he betrays Valentine’s elopement plan to Silvia’s father, the Duke, who promptly banishes Valentine. With the main competition out of the way, Proteus sets out to make Silvia his.

Julia - A lady of Verona, she initially feigns non-interest in Proteus, but later admits that she loves him, and even follows him to Milan disguised as a boy. She cannot believe it when she finds Proteus in love with Silvia, but, her feelings for him unchanged, she nonetheless takes a job as a pageboy for her inconstant lover.

Silvia - Daughter to the Duke of Milan, she falls in love with the kind-hearted Valentine when he comes to her father’s court. Strong-willed and not easily manipulated, she is determined to remain with Valentine despite his banishment and Proteus’ machinations.

Speed - Servant to Valentine, he/she remains at his/her master’s side when he goes to Milan and when he is exiled from the Duke’s court. He/she is far more intelligent than his/her somewhat dense master, but is often late for meetings.

Launce
- Servant to Proteus, he accompanies his master to Milan with his dog Crab, to whom he delivers several humorous and moving monologues. He often comments on his master’s questionable actions with a biting and hilarious wit.

Duke of Milan - Silvia’s father, he is generous and considerate to Valentine, but he would rather see his daughter marry the wealthy Thurio, and thus banishes Valentine when he discovers the young lovers’ elopement plan.

Lucetta - Julia’s maidservant and confidant, she fashions breeches for Julia to wear when she travels to Milan disguised as a boy.

Antonio - Father to Proteus, he sends his son to join Valentine in Milan, hoping that it will enrich the young man’s mind.

Panthino - Servant to Antonio, he advises his master to send Proteus to Milan, believing that travel will be beneficial to him.

Thurio - A wealthy but foolish suitor to Silvia, he is favoured by her father the Duke, but Silvia herself has no interest in him. Neither Proteus nor Valentine consider him a serious rival for Silvia’s hand.

Eglamour - A knight who helps Silvia escape from the Duke’s palace in Milan, but runs away at the first sign of trouble.

Host/Hostess - An innkeeper who lodges Julia when she comes to Milan disguised as "Sebastian". He/she attempts to cheer her up with a song devoted to Silvia, but it only serves to make Julia even more unhappy.

Three Outlaws - They have been banished by society and live in the wild. When they encounter the exiled Valentine, he helps to restore their lost morality, and they make him their captain.

1.
JULIA
Nay, would I were so anger'd with the same!
O hateful hands, to tear such loving words!
Injurious wasps, to feed on such sweet honey
And kill the bees that yield it with your stings!
I'll kiss each several paper for amends.
Look, here is writ 'kind Julia.' Unkind Julia!
As in revenge of thy ingratitude,
I throw thy name against the bruising stones,
Trampling contemptuously on thy disdain.
And here is writ 'love-wounded Proteus.'
Poor wounded name! my bosom as a bed
Shall lodge thee till thy wound be thoroughly heal'd;
And thus I search it with a sovereign kiss.
But twice or thrice was 'Proteus' written down.
Be calm, good wind, blow not a word away
Till I have found each letter in the letter,
Except mine own name: that some whirlwind bear
Unto a ragged fearful-hanging rock
And throw it thence into the raging sea!
Lo, here in one line is his name twice writ,
'Poor forlorn Proteus, passionate Proteus,
To the sweet Julia:' that I'll tear away.
And yet I will not, sith so prettily
He couples it to his complaining names.
Thus will I fold them one on another:
Now kiss, embrace, contend, do what you will.


2.
PROTEUS
To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn;
To love fair Silvia, shall I be forsworn;
To wrong my friend, I shall be much forsworn;
And even that power which gave me first my oath
Provokes me to this threefold perjury;
Love bade me swear and Love bids me forswear.
O sweet-suggesting Love, if thou hast sinned,
Teach me, thy tempted subject, to excuse it!
At first I did adore a twinkling star,
But now I worship a celestial sun.
Unheedful vows may heedfully be broken,
And he wants wit that wants resolved will
To learn his wit to exchange the bad for better.
Fie, fie, unreverend tongue! to call her bad,
Whose sovereignty so oft thou hast preferr'd
With twenty thousand soul-confirming oaths.
I cannot leave to love, and yet I do;
But there I leave to love where I should love.
Julia I lose and Valentine I lose:
If I keep them, I needs must lose myself;
If I lose them, thus find I by their loss
For Valentine myself, for Julia Silvia.
I to myself am dearer than a friend,
For love is still most precious in itself;
And Silvia--witness Heaven, that made her fair!--
Shows Julia but a swarthy Ethiope.
I will forget that Julia is alive,
Remembering that my love to her is dead;
And Valentine I'll hold an enemy,
Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend.
I cannot now prove constant to myself,
Without some treachery used to Valentine.
This night he meaneth with a corded ladder
To climb celestial Silvia's chamber-window,
Myself in counsel, his competitor.
Now presently I'll give her father notice
Of their disguising and pretended flight;
Who, all enraged, will banish Valentine;
For Thurio, he intends, shall wed his daughter;
But, Valentine being gone, I'll quickly cross
By some sly trick blunt Thurio's dull proceeding.
Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift,
As thou hast lent me wit to plot this drift!


3.
LAUNCE
I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to
think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's
all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now
that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a
team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who
'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I
will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet
'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet 'tis
a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for
wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel;
which is much in a bare Christian.
Pulling out a paper

Here is the cate-log of her condition.
'Imprimis: She can fetch and carry.' Why, a horse
can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
carry; therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item:
She can milk;' look you, a sweet virtue in a maid
with clean hands.


4.
PROTEUS
Sebastian, I have entertained thee,
Partly that I have need of such a youth
That can with some discretion do my business,
For 'tis no trusting to yond foolish lout,
But chiefly for thy face and thy behavior,
Which, if my augury deceive me not,
Witness good bringing up, fortune and truth:
Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.
Go presently and take this ring with thee,
Deliver it to Madam Silvia:
She loved me well deliver'd it to me.
JULIA
It seems you loved not her, to leave her token.
She is dead, belike?

PROTEUS
Not so; I think she lives.

JULIA
Alas!

PROTEUS
Why dost thou cry 'alas'?

JULIA
I cannot choose
But pity her.

PROTEUS
Wherefore shouldst thou pity her?

JULIA
Because methinks that she loved you as well
As you do love your lady Silvia:
She dreams of him that has forgot her love;
You dote on her that cares not for your love.
'Tis pity love should be so contrary;
And thinking of it makes me cry 'alas!'

PROTEUS
Well, give her that ring and therewithal
This letter. That's her chamber. Tell my lady
I claim the promise for her heavenly picture.
Your message done, hie home unto my chamber,
Where thou shalt find me, sad and solitary.


5.
Enter SILVIA, attended
JULIA
Gentlewoman, good day! I pray you, be my mean
To bring me where to speak with Madam Silvia.
SILVIA
What would you with her, if that I be she?

JULIA
If you be she, I do entreat your patience
To hear me speak the message I am sent on.

SILVIA
From whom?

JULIA
From my master, Sir Proteus, madam.

SILVIA
O, he sends you for a picture.

JULIA
Ay, madam.

SILVIA
Ursula, bring my picture here.
Go give your master this: tell him from me,
One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget,
Would better fit his chamber than this shadow.

JULIA
Madam, please you peruse this letter.--
Pardon me, madam; I have unadvised
Deliver'd you a paper that I should not:
This is the letter to your ladyship.

SILVIA
I pray thee, let me look on that again.

JULIA
It may not be; good madam, pardon me.

SILVIA
There, hold!
I will not look upon your master's lines:
I know they are stuff'd with protestations
And full of new-found oaths; which he will break
As easily as I do tear his paper.

JULIA
Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring.

SILVIA
The more shame for him that he sends it me;
For I have heard him say a thousand times
His Julia gave it him at his departure.
Though his false finger have profaned the ring,
Mine shall not do his Julia so much wrong.

JULIA
She thanks you.

SILVIA
What say'st thou?

JULIA
I thank you, madam, that you tender her.
Poor gentlewoman! my master wrongs her much.

SILVIA
Dost thou know her?

JULIA
Almost as well as I do know myself:
To think upon her woes I do protest
That I have wept a hundred several times.

SILVIA
Belike she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her.

JULIA
I think she doth; and that's her cause of sorrow.

SILVIA
Is she not passing fair?

JULIA
She hath been fairer, madam, than she is:
When she did think my master loved her well,
She, in my judgment, was as fair as you:
But since she did neglect her looking-glass
And threw her sun-expelling mask away,
The air hath starved the roses in her cheeks
And pinch'd the lily-tincture of her face,
That now she is become as black as I.

SILVIA
How tall was she?

JULIA
About my stature; for at Pentecost,
When all our pageants of delight were play'd,
Our youth got me to play the woman's part,
And I was trimm'd in Madam Julia's gown,
Which served me as fit, by all men's judgments,
As if the garment had been made for me:
Therefore I know she is about my height.
And at that time I made her weep agood,
For I did play a lamentable part:
Madam, 'twas Ariadne passioning
For Theseus' perjury and unjust flight;
Which I so lively acted with my tears
That my poor mistress, moved therewithal,
Wept bitterly; and would I might be dead
If I in thought felt not her very sorrow!

SILVIA
She is beholding to thee, gentle youth.
Alas, poor lady, desolate and left!
I weep myself to think upon thy words.
Here, youth, there is my purse; I give thee this
For thy sweet mistress' sake, because thou lovest her.
Farewell.

Exit SILVIA, with attendants

JULIA
And she shall thank you for't, if e'er you know her.


6.
SPEED
O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath
taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,
That my master, being scribe, to himself should write
the letter?
VALENTINE
How now, sir? what are you reasoning with yourself?

SPEED
Nay, I was rhyming: 'tis you that have the reason.

VALENTINE
To do what?

SPEED
To be a spokesman for Madam Silvia.

VALENTINE
To whom?

SPEED
To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.

VALENTINE
What figure?

SPEED
By a letter, I should say.

VALENTINE
Why, she hath not writ to me?

SPEED
What need she, when she hath made you write to
yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?

VALENTINE
No, believe me.

SPEED
No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive
her earnest?

VALENTINE
She gave me none, except an angry word.

SPEED
Why, she hath given you a letter.

VALENTINE
That's the letter I writ to her friend.

SPEED
And that letter hath she delivered, and there an end.

VALENTINE
I would it were no worse.

SPEED
I'll warrant you, 'tis as well:
For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.

VALENTINE
I have dined.

SPEED
Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can
feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my
victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like
your mistress; be moved, be moved.


7.
PROTEUS
Sirrah, I say, forbear. Friend Valentine, a word.

VALENTINE
My ears are stopt and cannot hear good news,
So much of bad already hath possess'd them.

PROTEUS
Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,
For they are harsh, untuneable and bad.

VALENTINE
Is Silvia dead?

PROTEUS
No, Valentine.

VALENTINE
No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia.
Hath she forsworn me?

PROTEUS
No, Valentine.

VALENTINE
No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me.
What is your news?

LAUNCE
Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.

PROTEUS
That thou art banished--O, that's the news!--
From hence, from Silvia and from me thy friend.
VALENTINE
O, I have fed upon this woe already,
And now excess of it will make me surfeit.
Doth Silvia know that I am banished?

PROTEUS
Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom--
Which, unreversed, stands in effectual force--
A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears:
Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd;
With them, upon her knees, her humble self;
Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them
As if but now they waxed pale for woe:
But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears,
Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire;
But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die.
Besides, her intercession chafed him so,
When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
That to close prison he commanded her,
With many bitter threats of biding there.

VALENTINE
No more; unless the next word that thou speak'st
Have some malignant power upon my life:
If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
As ending anthem of my endless dolour.

PROTEUS
Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,
And study help for that which thou lament'st.
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love;
Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that
And manage it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence;
Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd
Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
The time now serves not to expostulate:
Come, I'll convey thee through the city-gate;
And, ere I part with thee, confer at large
Of all that may concern thy love-affairs.
As thou lovest Silvia, though not for thyself,
Regard thy danger, and along with me!

VALENTINE
I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy,
Bid him make haste and meet me at the North-gate.

PROTEUS
Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine.

VALENTINE
O my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine!

Body and Soul --Audition pieces

Play Summary
‘Body and Soul’ is a play that explores how sexual desire is constructed, specifically the role of technology in such construction. The play centres around Jane, a necrophiliac, and her sister Jane’s weakening relationship with her husband Henry. As Jane declares her desires to the world, Henry promotes a new form of virtual reality that enables one to construct their own sexual partner without another body being present. ‘Body and Soul’ is slightly absurdist in style, housing both dramatic and comic moments. The roles of intimacy, love, and desire are called into play within this examination of sex in society.
Several reviews:
“…a wry, provocative and entertaining discussion of the relationship between technology and human desires and needs.”- Toronto Star
“…a literate and witty examination of sex and virtual reality…’-Toronto Sun
“…a slightly surreal comedy-drama about necrophilia and virtual sex…full of juicy scenes and lines.’- The Globe and Mail
“…thought-provoking, intelligent, insightful, well written…”-CBC Radio


Character Summaries
Jane
Jane is a woman in her early twenties, with a very independent attitude. She is practicing necrophiliac, and is not ashamed of her sexual desires. She is very comfortable with her sexuality, and often avoids making emotional connections to others. Sister to Sally.

Sally
Likely in her late twenties to early thirties, Sally is struggling to maintain a sense of intimacy within her marriage. She sees physical appearance as the key to retaining the love of her husband, Henry. She often takes on a mothering role in relation to her sister Jane, which is met with flat out rejection.

Henry
Henry is an intellectual in his late twenties to early thirties, and is very frustrated with his position in life. He loves his wife Sally, but he manifests much of his frustration through his sexuality, which directly affects his relationship with his wife.

Mary/Connie/Scientist*
Mary is an older woman, mourning the death of her son, who is the object of Jane’s desires. Connie is talk show host, fuelling her career off of her sexuality. The scientist holds a strong belief in the value of using science to fulfill sexual desire.
*All of the above characters will be played by one actor.

Mark/Ed/Doctor*
Mark is an awkward young man who attempts to form a relationship with Jane, and fails miserably. Ed is a guest on a talk show who has written a book arguing that the manipulation of truth can be used as a tool to get ahead in life. The doctor is Henry’s physiatrist, and an advocate of a hedonistic approach to existence.


1.
Female monologue
Sally
: When I was younger, my roommate invited a man whose wife was out of town over to our apartment for the evening. We had a wonderful dinner, with lots of wine, and afterwards we all lay down near each other to listen to some music. Before long my roommate said she was falling asleep and went into her bedroom. Her friend asked if he could stay until the song was over. As we lay there listening I felt the most beautiful sensation rising through my body. There was nothing I wanted more than to reach over and take his hand. And I knew he wanted to touch me too. But he couldn’t. So we lay there thinking about each other until the music ended.
[Pause]
I used to think it was a tragedy that nothing happened. But looking back I’m glad it didn’t. How could our touching have made any difference? It wouldn’t have added anything to what we felt. It would only have cheapened a beautiful memory.
[Pause]
Just be with me Henry. Please. I’m right here….You don’t need anything more.

2.
Male monologue
Henry
: Regarding women as more or less the same as corpses doesn’t seem all that healthy to me.
Doctor: Try it. Remember, you’re not a pig. You’re a god.
When you die you’ll miss your body at first. You’ll feel like a shadow squeezed into a crack between rocks. All around you, you’ll be aware of humans and animals copulating. If the thought attracts you, if you long to re-enter a body, you’ll be lost. At that moment a light will appear to guide you. No matter how much it hurts, you must follow that light. Give up all belief in a separate self, immerse yourself in the light, recognize this boundless light as your true self and you will be saved.
[Pause]
I’m afraid our time is up. How’s next Thursday at three?

3.
Scene for two females
Sally: Why don’t you come stay with me for awhile?
Jane: Why would I do that?
Sally: We have the extra room. You wouldn’t have to pay rent. You’d have time to look for a different job. Go back to school. Retrain.
Jane: I like my job.
Sally: No funeral home is going to hire you now.
Jane: Sure they will.
Sally: Are you joking?
Jane: What I do is no worse than using a living body to get off. In fact it’s better. No one gets hurt. Afterwards I can go to the grave and mourn along with the rest of the family.
[Pause]
Sally: You’ve got to get help.
Jane: There’s nothing wrong with me.
Sally: Jane, please- I know why you do it.
Jane: Do you?
Sally: One day you’re going to get in touch with your anger at Dad and find a healthier way of expressing it.
[Pause]
Jane: I thought you were intelligent.
Sally: Jane.
Jane: You think you can talk me out of it.
Sally: I’m only trying to help.
Jane. I’m very popular right now. I have plenty of guys asking me out. More than you ever had. They think I do it because I’m hard up. They think if they screw me I’ll finally see what the real thing is and give up bodies.
Sally: What about the contact- the communication?
Jane: I’m talking about something deeper than communication.
[Pause]
Love isn’t just sharing things, good conversation, romance. That’s companionship. There aren’t many people who know how to love now.
[Pause]
If someone whips himself for love, is that sick? At least there’s some feeling.
[Pause]
If you knew what it felt like. I find the smell of a death very erotic. When you get on top of a body it tends to purge blood from the mouth…I guess you have to be there…You can’t describe the smell of roses to someone who’s never smelled anything like it.
[Pause]
It’s late. I’ve got an interview tomorrow. Are you staying?
Sally: No, I think I’ll go home.
Jane: You could sleep on the couch. It folds out.
Sally: Henry’s expecting me
Jane: Well I hope I see you again soon. Don’t be a stranger.
Sally: Yes.
Jane: Say hello to Mom.
Sally: I will.
[Pause. Sally turns to go]
Jane: Sally
Sally: Yes.
Jane: I know you’re only trying to help. But don’t worry too much about me. There’s nothing you can say to change me…It’s what I like.

4.
Scene for one male and one female.
Henry: Try it. Put the suit on too.
Sally: No.
Henry: Why not?
Sally: I don’t want to make love to a machine.
Henry: You’ll be making love to me.
Sally: How could it be you?
Henry: We never see or touch the real person.
Sally: I do.
Henry: You see something created by your brain. So what does it matter if we adjust the perceiving mechanisms. It’ll be me responding. Haven’t you ever wanted to be more beautiful?
Sally: No.
Henry: You could look like you did ten years ago.
Sally: No!
[Pause]
You’re planning to market these things?
Henry: Think of all th people who feel they’ve been cheated by life. I’m going to give them a means to be happy. It’ll be the beginning of real social change.
Sally: What?
Henry: It’ll be the beginning of democracy!
Sally: Democracy?
Henry: Yes.
Sally: You’re not a prophet, Henry- you’re a pimp. You’ll be selling more sexist consumerism.
Henry: It’s not just sex. One day we’ll fly, sound the ocean, scatter ourselves across the universe- all without moving. If you knew what it felt like! We could visit Indra’s Grove! We could experience it together.
[Pause]
Sally: Am I that ugly?
Henry: You’re beautiful.

Trainspotting -- Audition pieces

This is a play about stories…people telling stories about their lives. So to give me an impression of your storytelling abilities, please prepare a story about your life. Make it no longer than about 5 minutes. But this story MUST start with the phrase ‘One time I got so drunk/stoned/high that…’ After all, this is a play about Scottish Heroin addicts. It can be sentimental, funny, sad, crazy, whatever you feel is entertaining. This is a requirement for EVERYONE coming out for ‘Trainspotting‘, so pleasepleaseplease do not act surprised/shocked if I ask you for it.

also
1.
Renton - I’m sitting in my apartment, curtains drawn, watching Chuck Norris kick the shite out of some tidy bastard, when Sick Boy starts to whine. I look over at him, and I can see the sweat beading on his face and arms. He’s got the sickness, that’s for sure. Si starts pleading with me. He wants to see the Mother Superior, he NEEDS to see the Mother Superior. This was Johnny Swan. We called him Mother Superior on account of the length of his habit………get it? So Simon is whining that he’s sick and needs to see Swanny, but I’m content to just sit here and watch Chuck polish off this tidy cunt in the video. It’s nothing personal, he just doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself. ‘Cause I know if it were different, Si would do the same to me.

2.
Begbie (drinking a pint) - Didja hear what happened? Last week, down at pub, Tommy and I were sitting playing stick. Now, I am playing absofuckinglutely GENIUS, this wee cunt could not hit shite to save his life. So I’m knocking his in as WELL as mine, just so he thinks he’s not getting embarrassed ‘n all. Then, this hard-looking cunt sits down by the bar and starts eyeing us. Now, I’m no looking for trouble, so I tries to ignore it. But he keeps LOOKING at us, daring is over ‘n all. So I put my cue down, walk over and say ‘Alright then cunt, square go!’ And what does he do, this hard cunt…or SO-CALLED hard cunt? SHITES it…puts down his pint and walks out the pub! And after that,…the game was mine! (throws pint glass off the balcony)

3.
Ali - I hate tourists. The only thing I hate more than tourists are how the LOCALS start to act when there ARE tourists around. It’s like they suddenly feel the urge to let their inner arseholes show and take it out on me and mine. I’m at the restaurant, I’ve been here most of the day, lunch is over, I’m tired, hungry and having my period…when a table of these ‘executive-types’ come in. Right away, I’m not looking forward to this. I go over to their table to take their order, and one smarmy, fat bastard asks ‘You on the menu love? I only go 30 quid, but I could go for a snack!’ All the other bastards at the table think this is the funniest thing they ever heard. I brush it off, take their orders and go to the back. Tears are streaming down my face. I don’t know why this bothers me so much. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve dealt with people like this. I decide to give them something special, something to remember them by. I don’t remember which one got the rat poison, but they’ll remember. It wasn’t like I wanted to kill anyone, just make them sick enough to not come back. I guess it worked…

please note that Trainspotting's part in SDF 2006 is rights pending- aka if we can't get the rights to preform the show it will not be presented. we are working as quickly as we can to nail down rights for this play.

Making Light of Darkenes --Audition Pieces -- Updated Sunday March 19th

1
JESTER
The sheer ignorance of some, it ceases to astound me anymore through my follies. Confidence truly is a killer as it feeds the pride that blinds our eyes and fuels the voice that then dares ask "What is happening". That is if of course as long as pride can swallow its head long enough to even begin to wonder. Do not mistake my demeanour for bitterness, do that and you loose my point. No, I am solemnly in acceptance of my role in the scheme of life. I am thrown here unto the tips of your toes, here to amuse you're within by exposing my own. I'm but a probe, a catalyst to disturb the concrete in your minds and shake them up until they once again join the sands of time. I'm forever a bank-teller who gets caught, merely doing his job, and is forced to play audience listening to the life story excuse of some new destitute. (*To the audience*) Hello there, nice to meet you, I am the sole member of a rich inside joke, where the punch-line is my words and the delivery is my talking. So as you can see I am anything but bitter. What? With my making levity out of what already is the joke of my existence…I mean how much further, may one possibly travel into the nature of humility? I assure you as my life will lean on and moves forward I will no doubt be able to answer this very query with the ripened seasoning of my experience.

2.
(Danny looks around then pulls a comb out of the back pocket of his pants. He begins to comb his hair and ensures that there is a slight curl at the front. He then breathes into his hand smells it, to check his breath. John looks at him with a confused look upon his face.)

JOHN
Cool it man, who you tryin to impress?
DANNY
No one. Can't a guy just look good without questions bein asked?
JOHN
I dunno where you been lately, but no, no he can't. If you put that much effort into lookin good around me I'm gonna ask questions.
DANNY
Well quit it man. All I did was comb my hair.
JOHN
Oh, that's all you did huh.
DANNY
Yeah, that's all I did ok?
JOHN
No that's not ok, cuz that's not all you did. I saw you man, you checked your breath like you was tryin to impress someone.
DANNY
CUT THE GAS Johnny!!!
JOHN
Fine, whatever. I was just wondering why you feel that you need to impress me, I mean we been friends for a while. Besides, unfortunately I ain't interested.
DANNY
I'm tellin you Johnny! If you're cruisin for a bruisin you just keep it up.
JOHN
Okay, okay. I'm just foolin.
DANNY
Cool, so what have you been up to?
JOHN
oh, so now who's askin the questions?
(Danny looks very frustrated)
JOHN
Geez man, you gotta cool down a little. You're wound up way too tight.
DANNY
Yeah, I know man, just those babes man, you know the ones. The ones from the diner...
JOHN
Yeah I know em. So, what of em?
DANNY
I dunno man, a few of em were hot stuff, but there was that one that was just...WOW...she was incredible.
JOHN
I dunno what you been doin but it looks like this babe has thrown you for a spin. Which one was it any way.
DANNY
Mary-Sue.
JOHN
Damn she is quite the looker. If I got the chance...whooof...what I'd like to do to her-
DANNY
Quit it man, I think I might ask her to go steady.
JOHN
Oh, great...so we're gonna lose you to?
DANNY
Well, I hear she's fast.

3.
(The 7th and 8th people now approach the crowd. They pull up some where near the back of the crowd and begin their conversation)
JONATHAN
Hey, you here about those two who were finally sentenced to death?
FRED
Yeah, the Rosenbergs right?
JONATHAN
Damn PINKO bastards!!
FRED
Wonder how much they got for selling the commies our secrets?
JONATHAN
Bet it wasn't worth the cost of his life.
FRED
And now everyone's starting to have those nuclear bomb things.
JONATHAN
Soon enough we'll start blowin each other to smithereens.
FRED
We have got things going to well now a days, don't wanna lose it all again.
JONATHAN
We should just use ours on them. That way we don't even give them a chance.
FRED
Do you even watch the news? One of those things could kill us all if something goes wrong.
JONATHAN
Yeah, but when has the government let us down? We just won the greatest battle ever. Those Krauts didn't see us coming.
FRED
And look at what they are doing now. You think that the Koreans even have chance?
JONATHAN
Not likely. Those PINKO commy bastards are more useless than those Nazis ever were.
FRED
If McArthur gets his way we will be cozying up to the Great Wall of China after we roll through Korea.
JONATHAN
All I can say is that those traitors, you know the Rosenbergs, they got what they deserved. No body tampers with the United States plans and gets away with it. What nerve though...they sure had guts.
FRED
What's this? You supporting them?
JONATHAN
No, no...I was just saying that it sure would take a lot of guts to try and undermine the government.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Auditions information -shortly

Auditions that were originally scheduled to begin Monday March 13th will be moved back to start March 20th and will run until March 25th.

Auditions times and pieces will be posted here on the blog on Monday March 13th
Auditions time maybe requested via email starting Monday march 13th. (we will allow walk in auditions if space and time allows-it is preferable to pre book your time)

Monday, March 06, 2006

Stage managers

SDF is looking for committed capable people to be Stage Managers for the great plays we will be producing this summer.
SMs are responsible for the overall coordination and execution of all aspects of their show. They are the link between the production team and the company

Duties / responsibilities:
generating weekly schedules
ensuring that rehearsals run smoothly
keeping prompt script up to date
coordinating technical elements of the show
coordinating load-in
running tech rehearsals smoothly
calling the show
act as advocate for the cast
maintaining a positive, exciting and professional environment

If interested email mcmaster_sdf@yahoo.ca for more information or send your resume and short cover letter to apply

Please note that all positions in SDF are voluntary (aka you don't get $)

Friday, March 03, 2006

2006 line up

Congratulations to the Directors of the 2006 season.

Here are the selected plays for this season, it's going to be amazing
Outdoor venue

The Two Gentlemen of Verona directed by Dan Bulmer
Making Light of Darkness directed by Brad Young and Daniel Rosenblat

Indoor venue
Trainspotting directed by Matt Moore (rights pending)
double bill
Criminals in Love directed by Kyrsten Doxtdator and Miranda Seymour
&
Body and Soul directed by Laura Pomeroy

Thank you to all the others who submitted proposals, it was truly difficult to chose the line up.